BOTOX, laser-peels, anti-wrinkle creams—an estimated 90 million Americans over the age of 45 are looking for the fountain of youth wherever they can find it. Ann Hodgman offers 1,003 youthful approaches to turn back the hands of time, including:

• Keep those AARP cards at home, avoid three-way mirrors like the plague, and for goodness' sake, no more groaning.
• It's never too late to start using sunscreen. And, if it is too late for that, it's really never too late to get a peel.
• Never admit you don't know how to use your iPod.
• Keep the news that you take Lipitor to yourself.
• "I refuse to admit that I am more than 52, even if that makes my children illegitimate." —Lady Nancy Astor