Increase your own stress levels and create stress in others with simple measures such as:

  * If you are stressed, make sure you communicate this to those around you. Soon they’ll be stressed too.

  * Switch the decaffeinated and caffeinated coffees around whenever you can.

  * Always join in other people’s arguments. Try to get others to join in too.

  * When you’re the first car in line at a traffic light, get out and read a map. Try to miss the green light at least twice.

  * A double espresso just before bed is always a winner.

  * Replace your bulbs with overhead, neon-strip lights. If you can get ones that flicker, all the better.

  * If someone is telling you a joke and you know the punch line, wait until they’ve nearly finished, then tell them you’ve heard it before.

  * Ask single women if they’ve got a boyfriend yet. Repeat on Valentine’s Day.