Nothing captures the magic of Christmas like the drooling face of a child and a cheap-ass little fake tree.” —An Old-Fashioned Christmas

In the tradition of Holidays on Ice and Bad Santa, Patrick Regan counters saccharine seasonal sentiment with a dose of holiday-noir.

Remember Christmases of old? Simpler times, when four-year-old orphans were used for market research and Santa could call a pretty elf “Sweet Cheeks” and not get slapped with a sexual harassment suit?

In An Old-Fashioned Christmas, author Patrick Regan collects images from the golden days of Christmas and pairs them with wryly sardonic captions to offer a reminder of what Christmas is really all about-namely, “hobos, orphans, boozed-up Santas, pill-popping housewives, and the shattered dreams of adorable children.”

Fans of Regan’s The Book of Bad Habits will take twisted delight in his skewering of the most cherished (and overstuffed) holiday of all. The 1940s, ’50s, and ’60s-vintage photos are odd enough on their own, but when Regan’s caustic captions start flying, no tradition is safe from mockery.

Christmas just ain’t what it used to be, and judging from the subversive gems in this more naughty-than-nice book, we should all be extremely grateful for that.